Oval Office

John Jordan, Schevelle and Tony Batman at the Oval Office

If you weren't one of the lucky people to see Schevelle at the Oval Office in Green Bay this week don't despair you can follow her erotic exploits online at the G-String Chronicles.com

http://www.tonybatman.com/category/schevelles-g-string-chronicles/

There will be an update on Schevelle's stay in GB (The Good The Bad and The Naughty) so you can see Titletown through the eyes of one of the most requested exotic performers on the circuit today the lovely Schevelle.

Vintage Maynard

Here's the link to the new rock doc coming out on Maynard James Keenan's venture into his burgeoning wine business.
Cut Paste Sample and Enjoy
J.J.

http://www.imdb.com/video/wab/vi3734372889/

STOP! Hammertime!!!!

Shoppers in a trendy Los Angeles clothing store are caught off guard when a large group of people in M-C Hammer baggy pants flash-mob the store and perform a choreographed "U Can't Touch This" dance.
AWESOME BEYOND WORDS.... so WATCH IT.
J.J.

REALLLLLLY SAFE SEX

The Air Sex World Championship is coming to New York City on June 12th.
Wh...Wh... Wh...What's that, you ask? C'mon! You don't know what air sex is? Well, it's a lot like those air guitar competitions, only instead of standing on stage with an imaginary guitar, you're standing on stage with an imaginary partner. Air sex was invented by a group of lonely Japanese guys in 2006, and the phenomenon has finally arrived on U-S soil. Its first venue was the Alamo Draft House in Austin, Texas.

VIDEO

***WARNING CONTAINS SEXUAL POSITIONS and SITUATIONS and LANGUAGE BUT NO NUDITY- DAMN!!!***

VIMBY - Air Sex

Flash Mountain is BAAAAACK!!!!!

If you happen to be an exhibitionist, the Happiest Place on Earth just got a little happier -- 'cause Disney is dropping their last line of defense against roller-coaster boobie flashers.
It's all over rides like Splash Mountain -- aka Flash Mountain -- where some people would whip out certain body parts in the hopes that the park camera would catch the nudity ... and then display the naked shot on the photo preview screens for all to see.
Disney had created "image screening positions" to prevent the XXX shots from going public. But now, execs have told the OC Register the screeners have been "redeployed" -- and that they no longer need to monitor the rides because "actual inappropriate behaviors by guests are rare."
But before you run out and bare all, Disney claims they're still going to patrol the park for flashers ... and anyone who tries to turn the place into their own adult Fantasyland will still get a taste of Mickey's size 24.
For the record, Donald still doesn't wear pants.

FOR THOSE OVER 18
JJ

Roll That 20-Sided Dice

Apparently D & D stands for Drunk & Dumb not Dungeons & Dragons .
A 23 year old man attending the Chochella Music Festival became disorderly (dis-roberly more like it) when authorities asked him to put his Wizard costume back on. I guess when 12th level or higher wizards get hot they have to shed their magical cloaks. Who knew? Officers asked him for almost 10 minutes (in real person time) to put on his robe - he was having none of that and threatened to turn them all into newts. He didn't and he lost almost all his health points on the wrong end of a tazer gun. Which has more hit points than.. a dumbass warlock.
Enjoy.
WARNING - CONTAINS WIZARD NUDITY = YOU CAN SEE HIS MAGIC WAND
JJ


Naked Wizard Tased By Reality from Tracy Anderson on Vimeo.

Allow Me To Retort Then....

In response to Veterans' concerns about the Music As A Weapon tour coming to the Resch Center May 17th, Dave Draiman, front man, for Disturbed had this to say. So Listen and Listen GOOD. 10,000 fists in the air can't be wrong y'know.
J.J.

Read Article Here

Preach on Brother Dave.

Get Off My Lawn!!!

Veterans are concerned about a "heavy metal festival" being held May 17th at the Resch Center in Green Bay - The Music As a Weapon Tour. Their concern is that the "headbangers" in attendance could be disrespectful to their surroundings - in particular to the Veteran's Memorial Monument on the Brown County Arena property. See Article.
The Veterans were/are still upset about a mini golf course being set up last summer (in their opinion) too close to the memorial. OK. But what does that have to do with this concert?
Why, after all the football and hockey games, monster truck/motocross rallies, "heavy metal" as well as other concerts and events held in the vicinity of their monument- is this particular concert being singled out now as a problem?
There's been literally 100's of thousands of people pass the way of the memorial since "mini golf gate" and now it's a problem?
Are the "headbangers" more likely to trash a sacred memorial than sports fans? No.
Are "headbangers" more likely to desecrate public property than country music fans or the New Kids on the Block crowd?
No.
I respect and am grateful for everything veterans have done in defense of this country and it's constitution. But their's is an opinion purely based on ignorance.
Many of these heavy metal bands have worked with the USO, have played for our troops and have done shows supporting veteran's organizations. The "offended" veterans obviously have no idea of who these headbangers are.
I'll bet there are many "headbangers" among those who bought tribute bricks -ranging from $100-$500- for the memorial that they are supposedly pre-determined to vandalize because of the music they choose to listen to.
Again I thank the veterans for all they have sacrificed for the rights I have as an American. Including the right of free speech and the right to assemble (put those two together and you have a concert) but please don't turn the Bill of Rights into an Opinion of Wrongs.

Google Earth THIS!!!!

Prick-Caso

Inspired by watching a documentary about Google Earth, 18-year-old Rory McInnes decided to give aerial observers an eyeful, with the help of a can of white paint. It only took him a half-hour to create the masterpiece. Amazingly, the penis on the roof was undiscovered for an entire year, until a passing helicopter pilot spotted it and let his passengers take pictures. During a recent interview with London's Sun, Rory's mom said, "We don't want any more children, so the idea of sleeping under a giant fertility symbol is rather worrying."

Indeed ma'am it is.

Natural Selection

Here's one for the Darwin Awards.
A woman jumped... was not pushed... did not slip... on her own accord, jumped into the polar bear enclosure at the Berlin Zoo.
Media are calling it a polar bear attack. She was bitten several times and is in serious condition. Do I feel sorry for her? Not one bite...er bit. The enclosure is there to keep the bears in and you out. Again my mantra is "buy the ticket... take the ride" and she's lucky her ride didn't end as a mid-day polar bear snack. See picture to the right. If you like things that move, not unlike the polar bears themselves,
here's the video.

Back to You ...ARGGGHHH!!!!!

If you're like me, God help you if you are, then you derive some primal satisfaction from seeing the "on-the-street", "you ask we investigatee" TV reporters encountering people, animals, vehicles and elements they can't control and/or are ill-equipped to deal with. Subsequently ending up looking like the stunt man/woman that they are to the in-studio crew- who are laughing off camera. I'm just saying be smart when perusing the story...REPORT the News DON'T become the story.

Blotto Buckeye Busted on Bar Buggy

Ohio man arrested for drunk driving on a homemade vehicle.

Ohio cops arrested a man for drunk driving on a motorized bar stool. That's right, a motorized bar stool, which can be seen (Right) in a police evidence photo. According to cops, Kile Wygle, 28, crashed his bar stool near his Newark home earlier this month and called 911 due to his injuries. When an officer arrived and asked Wygle what happened, he answered, "I wrecked my bar stool." According to a Newark Police Division report, a copy of which you'll find here, Wygle's homemade ride is powered by a Briggs & Stratton lawnmower engine. Wygle noted that the bar stool could hit nearly 40 miles per hour, but that he was only going 20 when he wiped out. A plastered Wygle, who failed a series of field sobriety tests, was charged with DUI and driving with a suspended license, both misdemeanors. His bar stool was not impounded.
Salute!!

ALL ABOARDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!

The crazy train is pulling to your living room tonight...
Kelly, Jack, Sharon and Ozzy... The Osbournes, are back and reloaded.
The Osbournes Reloaded - a new "variety" show premieres tonight on Fox after American Idol. (what's that?)
This looks to be a blast from first view... combining audience interaction with on-the-street features, vignettes and pop culture spoofs..... even a segment called "The Littlest Osbournes" featuring foul-mouthed, child versions of Sharon and Ozzy. Classic.
I've missed the First Family of F'd Up and now they're back and reloaded.
Enjoy the preview.
J.J.

John + Nitro Circus = LOVE!!!!

There's been a noticeable hole in my heart where one of my ALL TIME, DESERT ISLAND, TOP FIVE, TV shows used to nest - that show is JACKASS. And sure it lives on in DVD, Theatrical Release and on my iPod but, like all love, it needs to have a "freshness" about it to sustain the emotional investment you put into it. I have found something to fill that void.
Every Sunday night @ 9Pm (CST) on MTV - comes a twisted little production from the minds of Johnny Knoxville and Jeff Tremaine featuring the X-Treme X-ploits of X-Athlete Travis Pastrana and friends called Nitro Circus.
Whether they are trying to back-flip a motorcycle over a ravine, jump out of a plane without a parachute, or jump a Big Wheel 40-feet into the air into a crowded boat dock, Travis and his gang of nuts are going at it hard, 24/7, and there is no downtime -- it's just fast, faster and disaster. Let me be clear.... It's not Jackass... but like love... close does count for something.
Here's a taste of something called "Slip and Bleed".
Enjoy.
J.J.

Take it Canton-Easy Already!

I love it when I can watch people completely and utterly lose their S#!T from a nice safe distance.
This is one of my favorites of recent memory.
A woman missed her flight at a Hong Kong airport and goes ballistic! And I don't mean the "you got your peanut butter in my chocolate - you got your chocolate in my peanut butter" kind of crazy. I mean the kind of mind-scrambling insanity normally reserved for children being yanked from a ball pit not of their own free will.
All she does is scream, run at a security guard (good strategy), lay on the floor and kick her feet in a tantrum yelling (in Cantonese) "I want to go! I want to go!"
Obviously.
Enjoy the crazy.



The only thing going through my mind watching this was the scene from "Airplane" where the passengers line up with pipes, boxing gloves, baseball bats, etc in order to keep a woman "calm". Why can't life imitate art here?
*Sigh*

Jordan's Jackholes - Episode II

Let's go across the pond to merry Ol' England where (if possible) they may have more trains rattling through town than Oshkosh -and I know- I lived in Oshkosh for a good part of my life.
When you are forced day after day, week after week, month after excruciating month... to bring your commute to a dead stop for 10 + minutes every day while a train slowly snakes through town - you do have those "I'd like to run through these barriers so I don't have to sit here" thoughts.
But only a true Jackhole would DO IT!
Enjoy the stupidity mate.
J.J.

Publx Diplay of Inflation

An, obviously, lonely guy (see right) was having a... uh... ummm... well here's the headline.
Click and Enjoy.
J.J.
Floridian nabbed for public ménage a trois with plastic partners.

Florida Freak File - THE MOVIE!!!

Today's Edition of the "Florida Freak File" takes us to Orlando where we have video
from news station WFTV of a motorist being taken down on I-4.
He was pulled over for following (a trooper nonetheless) too close, speeding (72 in a 65) and refusing to give license, insurance and registration.
*sigh*
One word buddy... comply.
Copy... Paste and Enjoy the freak show.
J.J.

http://www.wftv.com/video/18621647/index.html

If you need further help (and God help you if you do) here you go.
*WARNING* contains some "flowery" language.

Jordan's JACKHOLES - Episode 1

It's a moral imperative that I do this...."Jordan's Jackholes".
There is soooo much Good/Bad viral video on the web that I'm afraid you're missing some of the Best/Worst of it. And I can't sleep knowing that.
Plus, let's be honest, what else are you going to do at work... work?
HA!
I need to devote at least one weekly blog segment to people attempting impossible stunts, getting caught in salaciously stupid acts, dumb criminals (as if are there any other kind), animals attacking, drunk celebs (or celebs attacking drunk animals) and radio D.J.s doing idiotic things with "Sham Wows".
In general... moronic activities that show no bias toward church, creed or political affiliation... but are simply placed on the world-wide inter-web for us to enjoy from a nice, safe distance.
*Whew*
Let's begin down under, in Australia, where we see a news report on two criminals attempting (poorly) to escape - after being handcuffed AND pepper-sprayed- and being caught(not by the long arm of the law) but the tall, static presence of.... a light pole. Enjoy.



Until Next Time... Do Not Attempt At Home - go to your neighbors.
J.J.

SUCK THIS!!!!

Y'know the old saying,
"No good deed goes unpunished."
Don't I know it sister.
In the spirit of community I brought in a plastic Halloween pumpkin and loaded it with candy. My thought was that it would bring people together in the harmony that only a free candy dish can. My office (shared by Elwood and Roxanne) would be this calm oasis of gathering where co-workers would walk hand in hand, as equals, while sharing Laffy Taffy.
Boy do I feel like a Dum Dum.
Going into it I knew that some would contribute and make an effort to "feed the pumpkin" but the majority of the time it would be left to me - fine - buy the pumpkin fill the pumpkin. I decided after filling the pumpkin numerous time (with no contributions from my fellow employees) to institute a you eat it you fill it policy... I'm beginning to regret that decision- as pictured above.
WHAT THE HELL IS THAT? I'm pretty sure the pictured sucker came from either the 13th consecutive level of hell or the island of misfit candy. I bring in Smarties, Sprees and SweetTarts. Other people are bringing in candy that isn't fit for the depression-era candy dish on your grandmas coffee table - minus the eye glass lenses, batteries, cough drops, and buttons.
For now.
What was once a pinnacle of pumpkin pride has been reduced to a recepticle of unwanted, bottom-of-the-glove-box sticks of gum and unwrapped cash register mints.
Thanks for coming together and celebrating in candy equality.
Can't wait for someone to replace my aloe Kleenex box with 80 grain sandpaper.
Until next time...
J.J.

PULP FRICTION

From the title of this blog (I'm still getting used to that word) you'd think this would be about porn film titles. If I titled it "Shaving Ryan's Privates" or "Foreskin Hump" possibly... but my main bitch today is about paper.
Living in the "Paper Valley", paper is an essential part of our community but it's also a tremendous burden on those of us who are... let's say... responsible.
What the hell is it with people not replacing paper products when they are emptied?
Responsible people finish the last square of t.p., the final sheet of toweling or the last in a ream of printer paper and replace it with a fresh batch. The remaining 99% of the population doesn't.
THIS WEEK ALONE -IN THIS BUILDING - I, me, John - son of Barbara, have had to change the printer and toilet paper twice and the break room hand towels three times!!!!!
And this was a good week.
The most aggravating thing though isn't when people leave the cupboard bare, but when they leave one little sheet clinging by it's last fibrous strand to the tube - passing the responsibility on to the next poor sap.
Tree Pun intended.
I believe we are legally required to replenish whatever the paper stock we use - invoking a long standing, and little used codicil in the "he/she who wipes last" rule of thumb - or whatever digits you use.
OK, it may be one of those yellow let it mellow brown flush it down unwritten rules of society - but what about simple common sense and courtesy to your fellow man?
I will leave you with my philosophical question of the day;
If a paper roll is emptied and no one is around... does it get changed?
The answer isn't found through a Decartian-level discussion but in an unfortunate but resounding.... NO!

If you see the tube.... don't be a boob.

J.J.